Fuck appropriateness.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
