You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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