He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
