Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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