Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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