What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
