i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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