Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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