Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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