So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
