so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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