You're so nebulous sometimes
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
The feeling are messing with the penis
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
