the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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