first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
