Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
