My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Randomize
