guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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