she sounds like chewbacca in bed
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
