fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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