Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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