We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
