how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
