I didn't shave. On purpose
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
