We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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