how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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