did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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