when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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