Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
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