when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
