I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
