if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
that's an acceptable place to lick
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
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