Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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