haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
