Swine flu. Run for my life!
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
