I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
