I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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