Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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