I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
