Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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