Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
