just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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