Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
