Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
