hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Randomize
