I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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