i may or may not be watching the land before time
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
