So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
