you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
