Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
