Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
