ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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