I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I think my nap took me to another dimension
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
The power of my boobs compel you
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
