I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
All the doctor said was why
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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